Reflections from an almost-30-year-old

So on Sunday at 4:01pm I will have been on this earth for a grand total of 30 years. I’ll admit I have made a bigger deal out of it than I should have the last few weeks and I’m not sure why. In general our society seems to put emphasis on certain ages: 16, 21,  30, 50. And this is one of the big ones. I guess because it should mean that you are really an adult. But I think with this birthday there is a lot of pressure; pressure to have become what you wanted to become and to have accomplished certain goals. I certainly have not done what I thought I would do by this age, but happily I have done a lot of things that I never thought I would.

In my 16-year-old mind I thought that at age 30 I would be a PhD-holding, lecture-giving professor with at least one novel under her belt. I expected to have traveled Europe and Asia and to have had relationships to tell tales about. I thought that I would be the superwoman of the 21st century. Getting married and having kids was not a priority for me.

But then when I was 18 I met this guy, fell madly in love, and my life took a different track. With him I found that I wanted to get married and I desperately wanted to have a child (years later of course). And now I have and I feel good about the wife and the mother that I am. I have been to Asia and to Europe, but I would call those trips, not travels. My marriage is really the only relationship I’ve had, but someday I promise to write tales about it.

My greatest accomplishment to date.

I have lived in New York City for almost 8 years and have lived through unemployment, 9/11, the blackout, 6 years in a 6th floor walk-up, the death of my father, marrying my best friend, nearly 7 years at the same company, 9 months of pregnancy, 14.5 hours of labor, 1.5 hours of pushing, and now 14.5 months of the life of my favorite person, my little boy.

This is so cliche and so annoying and really pains me to write, but it is fact. The only thing that really bothers me is that I have yet to have a piece of my writing published. It has been my goal since I first learned to read to become a writer and if you listen to my husband I am a writer because, of course, I write. And I suppose that he is correct in that. But I want to be a published, accomplished, even celebrated writer.

So this is my goal for the next 30 years. I WILL become a writer – an accomplished, published, even celebrated writer – and I’m starting right now.

Edited to add –

Oh and I just wanted to add a big THANK YOU to my mom for giving birth to me. I know what it’s like now and I think a little appreciation on this occasion is much deserved. Thank you, Mummy, for giving birth to me, taking care of me, raising me right, and helping me become the person I am 30 years later. I love you.

Here we go Steelers, here we go!

Are we REALLY going to the Superbowl?

So this has nothing to do with NYC or parenthood or anything this blog is supposed to be about, but I just had to say “Let’s go Steelers!!!”.

I’m from Pittsburgh and I’m a Stiller fan through and through and I can’t believe we’re going to the Superbowl again!!! I just wish I could be in Pittsburgh to celebrate with other fans. But oh well, I’ll have to settle for the husband and the boy and muted cheers once the latter has gone to bed. I’ll take it!

Although the boy was born in NYC he is a Steelers fan as well. The husband and I made a pact before he was born that he would cheer for the Yankees in baseball and the Steelers in football. So we’ve been working on him from day one to do just that. I doubt there’s any way he can escape it.

In honor of that I had to include a picture of Brady from the playoffs last year. This is one of our very favorite pictures of him, taken when he was about 10 weeks old.

Steelers!

GO STEELERS GO!!!!!!!!!

CMOM, I love you…MTA, not so much

Since it’s been so horribly cold and we’ve been stuck inside, a  friend of mine suggested we pack up the little ones and head over to the West Side and go to the Children’s Museum of Manhattan. At least it would be something to do and the kiddos would be able to work out some of their energy.

First we met up at Good Enough to Eat for lunch where the kids had great fun passing food to each other across the table and fighting over who got to put the lid on their bowls. The food was yummy, but the service was slow. But we went to the museum with full bellies and two toddlers who were raring to go.

Sand rules!

Brady was absolutely fascinated by the big playspace. He played at the sand table, with the giant light bright, in the jungle gym where he loved going through the tunnel and down the slide and with so many other things. He really had a great time. The museum closed at five and we got all of our coats and bags and bundled everyone up to go. My friend grabbed a cab and Brady and I walked to the bus stop.

On the way over Brady fell asleep for a much-needed, very late nap. The MTA suggests that strollers should be folded before getting on the bus. I guess the drivers really take this to heart, because despite my pleas, despite the fact that it was 12 degrees and dark, despite the fact that my baby was fast asleep three drivers would not let me on. I didn’t even try to get on any crowded buses. I waited for buses that were fairly empty so that I could just go to the back and not block the aisle. And they were mean about it too.

Wooo, lights!

Walking home alone, across the park, in the dark, in 12 degree weather with wind-chills of 5 was not an option, so I found a Starbucks and sat there for an hour drinking a latte and reading the internet on my phone until the boy woke up. He did and we boarded the bus – with a folded stroller – and got home fine.

I’m not saying that the MTA has no reason for it’s rules, but I do think they aren’t very well thought out. I highly doubt that my sitting on the bus, balancing a squirming toddler and a mucky stroller and a diaper bag is much safer than my holding onto the stroller with the brakes on. But maybe they’ve done studies. Who knows? I do know that this makes it much more difficult to get out during the winter freeze.

But baby, cold isn’t even the word!

Weeks like this one make me want to move to the suburbs! It is arctic outside and there is no way to get anywhere without braving the cold. It makes me want a car, with nice warm heat, to transport me to the grocery store or even better…the mall!

I’m tired of being stuck inside with the boy, who is also tired of being stuck inside. I have to say that, aside from drinking Cetaphil lotion yesterday morning (don’t worry Poison Control assures me he’ll be fine), Brady has been an angel about all this indoor (in)activity. He is currently obsessed with his Baby Signing Times video and has even learned his first sign!

He now signs “baby” by rocking his arms back and forth like he’s holding a  baby. Unfortunately, he uses this sign to tell me that he wants to watch the video…over and over…and over again. I’m convinced that his next sign will be “more”. “Put your fingertips together for more more more. Your fingertips together for more more more. Put your…” Oh, I’m sorry I drifted off into signing land there for a minute.

So yesterday we travelled to the Children’s Museum of Manhattan in the snow and cold. More on that later.

I’m a slow cooker, baby

I love you even if you do take up space on my counter.

Making dinner with a toddler under your feet is no easy task. Some of the other moms in the neighborhood were telling me how much they love their crockpots and not to worry about how much precious counter space it might take up – it would be worth it. So I told my mom that that was what I wanted for Christmas and Santa kindly delivered me this slow cooker. And I LOVE it!

So far I’ve made 3 dinners in it that fed us for 4 nights. It’s awesome because I can just throw stuff in in the morning while the husband is around to keep the kid occupied and let it cook all day and then voila when he gets home from work a delicious dinner is waiting. And Brady has eaten everything I’ve made in it as well. It totally rules.

First I made beef stew which was a variation on this recipe. This was by far the husband’s fave. I also made this chicken recipe that is sort of like chicken marsala but not as fattening. It was pretty good. On Saturday I made Chicken and

Yum, yum...chicken and dumplings.

Dumplings which I thought was awesome. I used this recipe but added carrots and celery and used chicken broth instead of water. It was seriously good. The kid ate it up and has some waiting for him for lunch as well.

I love Mommy's cooking!

I’m going to try a different beef stew with less work involved tomorrow. I’m having way too much fun with this. But it’s great to be able to have yummy, nutritious meals without trying to divert Brady’s attention for an hour while I cook.

Slow Cooker…I love you.

Mama said there’d be days like this…

My mother did indeed tell me there would be days like today. Even before I told her I was thinking about having kids of my own. In fact, I think she wished days like this on me to make up for my inflicting them upon her when I was a child.

Today was one of those days. Complete with three poopy diapers and the requisite screaming, kicking, clawing, jumping from the changing table fits that always accompany them. We started the day by his putting strawberries under his butt and smashing them into both his pajamas and the floor before I noticed. To get out we went to Starbucks where the only thing that made him quiet was taking my wallet apart and throwing all of my credit/debit/gift cards on the floor. A little girl about his age waved at him and he responded by screaming and reaching toward her as if to snatch off her nose.

Once we were home again he managed to empty all of his toy bins and strew the contents about our apartment several times. He also dumped a bowl of peas onto the floor and squished them in good with his feet. I needed to go to the grocery store and thought maybe a walk would do him good and the ensuing fit of melting into the floor to avoid my putting his pants/socks/shoes/coat on was enough to make me pull all of my hair out. At the store he chewed the cover off the bar on his stroller and screamed bloody murder as I took it away from him. I suspect teething is behind this heinous attitude of his, but it really doesn’t make it easier to bear.

At least he finally took a nap (laying on me, on the couch, of course). I know that days like this will probably only get worse as he becomes more self-aware, independent, and willfull. For now, I think I’m going to tell the husband we need to go out for dinner…somewhere with beer.

THIS is the kind of day today is.

Stranger Danger

Since it’s now too cold to walk around all morning, I’ve been spending Brady’s morning nap at Starbucks – like I am right now – either reading or working on the computer when I have it.

I’ve found that by hanging out at places like this I invite conversations from complete strangers. Usually I oblige and end up talking to someone for most of the boy’s nap. I get lonely being at home with him all day and I’ll take adult conversation wherever I can get it.

You look nice. Can I come home with you?

Living in a city of 8 million people, you are exposed to other human beings almost constantly. As a result, Brady has no fear of strangers. Well, not as long as I don’t leave him with them. At a rest stop on our way to Pittsburgh he willing ran into the arms of an older woman in a horrendous holiday sweater as I chased after him. At  the bar last week he stretched his arms out to a woman who was admiring his cuteness and let her hold him happily until we were ready to leave.

And with this I am met with a dilemma. How do I teach Brady that strangers can be scary and dangerous and still allow him to keep his open-minded and friendly view of the world?

I was a very shy kid myself and have always found it difficult to come out of my shell and make  friends. But then here I am chatting random people up at Starbucks on a regular basis. I would love for Brady to take away a more open personality from his upbringing in the city. That said, I don’t want him jumping in vans with scary old men bearing gifts of candy either.

As he becomes more mobile and more communicative this problem has been on my  mind. I suppose it’s something I need to discover as we go along. But I definitely want to be mindful of how my interactions with strangers and my reactions to his might affect his future attitude toward people. Big things to ponder for sure!

Hello 2009!

Happy New Year folks!

So my first full year as a mother has come to a close. In a few weeks it will be one year since I officially resigned from my job and also my 30th birthday. At the very least, this gives me a lot to think about.

Overall, I’d say 2008 was a very good year for our family. It started out rocky. I had some postpartum issues which were tough on all of us and it really clouded the first few months of Brady’s life for me. But thankfully we came through it and now I honestly couldn’t be happier with my role as mom. Not that I have it all figured out – far from it.

Naps are still a hellish routine repeated daily, but with a good night’s sleep most days it’s much easier to take. I’m still struggling with whether or not I want to put my foot down and wean the boy or let him self-wean. But he’s sharing our meals and interested in all kinds of foods. He even loves lima beans and adores plantains. I feel hectic and overwhelmed a lot of the time and still need to work on balance. But the money coming in from my freelance work is much-appreciated and it gives me a sense of purpose outside of wife and mother.

I’m going  into 2009 with a positive outlook. I’m confident that we’ll figure out where we’re going as a family and we’ll be able to work together to get there.

Happy New Year everybody!

Home for Christmas

Ever since the husband and I got together 11 long years ago, I have spent Christmas with my family. That is until 2 years ago. The husband’s family is Jewish aside from him, his mother, and his sister so Christmas isn’t as big as it is for my family. Plus they really do up Thanksgiving. So we’ve always split it up that way. But 2 years ago my family got together in early December for my uncle’s birthday and so we decided to finally spend Christmas with the in-laws. Then last year we had a 6-week-0ld and couldn’t travel.

This year I am happy to say we went back to Pittsburgh to spend the holiday with my clan. And it was great!

I don't really like the car.

We decided to drive and although it was exhausting, I think it was the best decision. Brady was SO good in the car. I’m really proud of him. Although by the end of the week I think he would have been happy never to get in a car again.

Bows rock!

We spent Christmas Eve at my sister’s place and my mom stayed over as well. In the morning Brady had a wonderful time picking all of the bows  off the presents and playing with his loot. We had Christmas dinner at my aunt and uncle’s and it was so wonderful to see everyone and let them see Brady. They had a great time with him.

Teagan and I have so much fun together!

The rest of the time was spent visiting with friends, shopping, and eating yummy (and mostly unhealthy) food. When it came time to leave I was longing for my bed at home, but not ready to say goodbye to everyone.

Each time I go home to visit since Brady was born, my heart feels torn and  I think I leave a piece of it behind. I feel so comfortable with everyone that I know and love. It’s hard to come back here to live my much- more-isolated life. And yet, I don’t feel ready to leave the city yet. It still holds something for me and I’m going to milk it for all it’s got.