Vampire child!

But he looks so sweet...

So I’ve been debating on whether or not to post about this. I have to admit that I can’t get over being a little ashamed of it. But considering the agony that it’s caused me and knowing that it is a stage that a lot of kids go through, I figured I’d put it out there and hopefully give some other parent some peace of mind.

Brady has developed a little biting problem. He’s never been very agressive, although it’s always been fairly easy for him to dominate other kids because he’s pretty big and strong for his age. But I never, ever expected to see this kind of behavior from him.

We were at the infamous train sets from my previous post. (I am convinced that they were cursed by a child-hating witch before being set up!) Brady was playing nicely and I was watching. I saw him grab a little girl’s arm and press his face into it. She ran off to her dad and I thought nothing of it. Brady has a tendency to hug and kiss kids at random. But I overheard this little girl telling her father that a little boy had bitten her, so I kept a very close eye on him.

I watched very closely and diffused any possible train-fight situations for the next 15 minutes or so. He and a little girl around his age were pushing their trains next to each other and hers got stuck to his. She went to pull it off and he flipped. He grabbed her by the sides of her head and bit her forehead!!! I couldn’t believe it!  I grabbed him up and said no, apologized tto the little’s girl’s father while looking to make sure that he hadn’t broken the skin and rushed out of there.

I threw him in the stroller and left the store. Outside I knelt down to him and told him that biting, hitting, and kicking other people is never ok and that we left because he bit the little girl and it hurt her and made her sad.

I doubt that he got it, but at the very least he didn’t get the train he wanted out of the situation and didn’t even get to play anymore.

I’ve been watching him like a hawk and he has attempted it a few more times. Fortunately, I’ve been able to stop him each time. Despite being reassured by many other parents – including my own mother – and reading on just about every parent website that this is normal and a lot of kids do it, it’s still really upsetting. It was like watching my precious angel turn into a monster right in front of my eyes.

I’m really hoping that he outgrows this quickly. I’m being careful that he does not get whatever it is that he wants from the child he tries to bite. Ffor now I guess I’ve just got to be his shadow while he plays with other kids. I just hope he doesn’t become that boy that bites on the playground!

Big (bad?) B&N

I’ve been meaning to write about the new Barnes and Noble in our neighborhood for awhile now. We used to have 2 B&N stores – the big one on 86th between 2nd and 3rd and a little one on  Lex bewteen 86th and 87th. I know it’s weird to have 2 so close together but it worked for years. The big one was right around the corner from us and a favorite playtime spot for rainy or cold days.

Both of those stores closed recently to make room  for the new GIGANTIC Barnes and Noble right at 86th and Lex. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Barnes and Noble. The husband worked there for awhile when he lost his job in the dotcom bust and I have several friends who worked/work there. I even know 2 (now married) couples who met while working there. They treat their employees fairly well – benefits, vacation days, etc.

I also know that B&N is NOT a playground. But for us here in the city it certainly doubles as one, and believe me I pay for it in the form of multitudes of books, puzzles, and Thomas the Tank Engine toys.

Anyway, what I’m getting to is that there are pluses and minuses to the new store and it was definitely not set up to be inviting to families. I don’t think this was intentional, it just is.

First of all, the whole store, which is gorgeous by the way, is underground. Only the entrance in on street level. To get to the kids section you have to take one elevator down, walk across the entire store, take another elevator down and then walk across the entire store once again. There is no cell service down there. These are all minor annoyances, but annoying none the less.

"Homas ta-rain!!!!!"

My major  problems with the new B&N are the Thomas the Tank Engine play setups. They have 2 Thomas sets with tracks and sheds and water towers and tunnels and bridges. They are awesome. They have plenty of trains and trucks and cars. Brady ADORES playing with them. All the kids adore playing with them. So much so that it incites violence among them.

Kids of all ages from about 10 months up to about 6 or 7 love to play with the trains. Unfortunately, 4 and 5 year olds don’t play so well with 1 and 2 year olds. All the kids want a train of their own and some kids want a train with lots of cars, even all the cars. And when one kid makes a train with all the cars, all the other kids get angry.

And of course not all kids are nice or well behaved or have good manners and not all parents/sitters are watching them as they play. Aside from having to rip Brady away from the tables by force each time we go there, I also have to contend with his interactions with the other kids. For some reason, these tables seem to bring out the worst in kids. This doesn’t happen in the sandbox, why does it happen here?

Maybe it’s just one incident that has turned me off to the Thomas tables, but it was a biggee in my eyes. A little boy (who repeatedly reminded everyone that he was 4 and half years old and in my mind too old for this behavior) got angry at Brady for taking one of his (many, many, many) cars and proceeded to hit Brady in the face with two trains. Brady dropped his trains and sort of slapped back at the boy. I broke them up, told them both that hitting is never allowed, and didn’t let Brady near the boy again. This boy’s mother looked up for 2 seconds to give a half-hearted “don’t do that.”

Other parents/sitters also had to intervene with this boy and he ended up playing alone while all the other kids played together. Brady talked about this for weeks “the boy, the boy, the boy, the trains, and kooka (head hit) the Brady and ouch.” It was really pretty sad.

I understand that this is part of parenting, part of life. We all have to deal with people who are less than our favorites on a daily basis. I think it’s a bit tougher as a parent because you’re watching this happen to your child and because you’re trying to teach your child good behavior while they watch bad behavior. Gee, I can’t wait for the school years.

So my final word on the new B&N is – amazing store, beautiful, has everything, awesome space to read and work, helpful staff – but avoid those Thomas tables, I’m telling you, it’s not worth it.

Sharing a wonderful post

I just wanted to highlight a post on the blog of one of my friends from college. Although we haven’t seen each other in a long time we reconnected via the internet when we were both getting married and then again when we were both pregnant. We gave birth to baby boys just 8 days apart.

I love her blog and she recently wrote a beautiful post about motherhood that I had to share. I think her words here are so true and reflect some of the things that I’ve been feeling so articulately that I wanted to have her words over here on my site.

One of the difficult things about motherhood is the shift of focus from yourself to the child and finding a way to be yourself again. I think too many people take for granted the changes that occur when you become a mother and I wanted to thank Jenn for highlighting that here.

http://idroolblackandgold.blogspot.com/2009/07/mommy-accomplishments.html

Happy 1st Blogaversary

I missed it on Saturday, but apparently I have been writing this blog for one whole year now. I started it as part of a class and I’m happy to say that I’ve kept it up. Yay me!

It may not be that interesting, but at least it’s kept me writing.

This was the picture of Brady in my first blog entry

Here's Brady 2 weeks ago (there's a hat theme)

A trip to the burgh

Brady and I try to go to Pittsburgh to visit my mom and sister at least every few months. This past weekend we got to bring Daddy along with us. It was a short trip, but a fun one. We got to celebrate Grandma and Aunt Von’s birthday on the 2nd and then went to one of the most fun places ever…Kennywood!

Hello Kennywood cowboy

Kennywood is an amusement park near Pittsburgh. Nearly everyone ends up working for them at some point in high school. I worked at their water park down the road, Sandcastle. My sister worked there. One of my best friends met her husband working there. It just rules!

Brady had a blast there and I got to ride 2 rollercoasters. Something I hadn’t done in years. After going to Kennywood at least once a summer, every summer, my whole life it had been 9 years since I had gone. And watching my little boy’s delight as he rode the kiddie turtles was worth every second I had been away.  It was amazing!

On the 4th we cooked out at my aunt’s house and then on Sunday we headed home again. It was really tough to say goodbye to my mom and sister. Brady was so in love with them while we visited and really remembered them this time.

Each time I go home to visit I’m stuck with conflicting emotions. I think of how nice it would be to be able to just drive over to my mom’s and have dinner with her. I think how nice it would be to have a yard, and a car, and more than 2 rooms, to be able to go to the community pool. But I also think of how much I love hanging out in Central Park and walking everywhere and being able to get anything I want or need at any time of the day or night.

Most of all I miss my family and having Brady makes that feeling even more acute because he has to miss them too.