It’s been a hard road, but I wouldn’t change a thing. He may be stubborn and whiny, but he’s one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever encountered in this world and I thank God for him everyday.

Side note on kids’ birthdays. A friend and I were discussing how spoiling the kids for a day is just as great for the parents as it is for the kids. It’s awesome to throw out most of the rules for one day and just make them happy for 24 hours. There’s really not much better than making your child sublimely happy

My big four-year-old!

But Declan was born at 9:48pm on August 8th, 2011 weighing in at 6lbs, 12oz and measuring 19 inches long. Much smaller than Brady was, but one day longer cooking in the belly. He was born at 38 weeks, 2 days and Brady was born at 38 weeks, 1 day.

After only 5 hours of real labor and no medication (no time) he came into the world with a TON of hair, crying before he was even completely here. I’ll have to write the birth story some time.

We are loving having him here! Somehow, although it’s more work for sure, having two kids is more enjoyable than having just one new baby. I’m happy to say that I’m really loving this little guy and Brady is still overjoyed to have a little brother. He makes up new songs about him daily.

Anyway, some pictures of the new addition from the last 2 months.

Life is still pretty chaotic here so this is a quick update until things calm down and I can write a real post. Here is a list of important things in my life – which of course you should be oh so interested in.

1. We found an apartment, it’s a block from where we live now, it’s a steal, and moving is a gigantic pain in the ass! I will write a full-on novel about moving in NYC when this is all over.

2. I’m still doing butt loads of freelance work, which is excellent for moving expenses, but not quite so excellent for my mental state.

3. Brady is still pretty damn delighted to be getting a brother – oh right…

4. The baby is a boy and he will never have a name because I was pretty much tapped on boy’s names with Brady.

5. This pregnancy is not quite so peaches and cream as my first. I’ve been sick like 3 times already, I get nose bleeds, my pelvis feels like it’s going to crack in half whenever I do anything that requires me to shift from one foot to the other (i.e. walk) and I still haven’t gotten my 2nd trimester energy and it’s halfway over (that may be due to the first 2 items on this list in addition to having a 3-year-old though).

Oh and my belly is much bigger than it was at this point with Brady. But I do have a cute kid to put in the pictures of it!

So funny!

I took on a huge freelance project that has been consuming my every free moment since before Christmas. It’s awesome to have steady work and to be making good money, but it’s difficult to keep up at times.

The husband left his job and took a new one. It’s been a bit of a transition. I think, overall, that it’s a good thing. But it’s always tough to move to something new.

And finally, I can now reveal, we are expecting baby #2 this August! This is the major reason I hadn’t written in so long. For one, I was totally exhausted and disgusting feeling for almost the whole first 3 months. It made it difficult to do the regular daily things, let alone extra things like coming up with a blog post. For another, it’s really difficult to write about life without talking about the hugest change that’s occurred.

I’m feeling alternately elated, terrified, confused, sad, well everything. But I am pregnant so I guess that’s normal. I’m excited to have another baby and to give Brady a sibling. I’m absolutely terrified to go through the newborn months again. I feel like a lunatic for even contemplating it. I’m sort of sad that Brady won’t be my only baby anymore. It’s hard to fathom loving someone else as much as I love him or splitting my concentration into two. He’s been the center of my world for the last 3 years so it’s difficult to imagine such a huge change.

And then there’s the most horrible part of adding a second child in NYC…apartment hunting. This apartment just simply will not hold another human being so we’re trying to find a bigger place. Of course now this is not only difficult financially and logistically, but now we also have to think about school district. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again (and it won’t be the last time) the NYC DOE is the most confusing, backwards system I have ever encountered. Currently, there is no way to find out what school zone a certain address is in because their search engine doesn’t work properly. Fun stuff.

Well, more to come on the upheaval in the lives of the G family. I just wanted to jump back in before I let the blog die a sad and neglected death.

And a picture of course.

There's a baby in there.

This is the first year that Brady really “gets” Santa. He made (an extensive) list of gifts he wants this year, made me write it down, and repeats it for just about everyone he sees. (Yay consumerism, ugh.)

So I get to do something I’ve been waiting practically my whole life to do…tell someone to watch out or they’ll be on the naughty list!!! Mwahahahaha. I know, I’m an evil mother. But it’s just so much fun to remind my screaming, angry kid that he’d better shape up or Santa won’t be bringing him anything.

Doing Santa doesn’t even seem to be that popular anymore. A lot people feel that it’s lying to their kids and setting them up for future disappointment. The husband and I always knew we would do it with our kids though. I LOVED Santa as a kid and I could never deny my own child that pure, exhilarating excitement of waking up on Christmas morning just knowing he’s been there. There’s nothing like it.

I was afraid we wouldn’t be able to get anywhere to see Santa this year and I was disappointed because this year it would really mean something to Brady. But we went to see the tree at Rockefeller Center last Saturday and when we stopped in a restaurant for lunch, who was waiting by our table but Santa himself.

It was great! Brady told him what he wanted, they hugged, and we took pictures. Totally magical. Plus I got the extra bonus of proving to Brady that Santa can show up anywhere, anytime so he’d better be on his best behavior!

Brady and Santa

And a bonus...Brady's reaction to a sip of seltzer.

My feelings on this subject are so complicated that it’s difficult to get them out. I wanted to write about it partly because I thought it might make me feel better and also partly because I think it’s a major issue living in Manhattan. There are people who live here who have SO MUCH and it’s hard sometimes to look around at what other people have without comparing it to the things in my own life.

I’m not saying I’m jealous, although I am a bit. I hate jealousy. I think it’s an ugly feeling and one that rarely brings any good. I hate feeling jealous. I’m not a person who wants a huge house. It makes me happy to think that we have a smaller carbon footprint since we live in a smaller space, use less energy, use mass transit, etc. I also realize that in so many ways we are very fortunate. We never have to worry about having enough food or clean water or access to medical care. We have wonderful family and friends in our lives. We are healthy. There is a lot to be thankful for.

But I also wish that my son had a real room, that my kitchen was big enough to hold a dishwasher and a full-sized fridge and stove. I wish I had enough space to have people over, or even for my own family to eat at a table together on a regular basis. I wish that the stroller wasn’t in the living room and that I didn’t have to get into fights with my in-laws because they buy Brady big trucks and I don’t know where to put them.

It’s sometimes difficult to be around people who can afford the things that I want so badly. Especially when it seems as if they don’t think twice about it.

Yes, New York offers a lot for families. We have endless things to do, educational opportunities, parks, museums, zoos, etc. It’s a different kind of life and one that I’ve learned to really love. I’m happy right now having a family in the city. But it isn’t easy. This is a VERY expensive place to live. A two-bedroom apartment is a dream that even those who would be considered wealthy in other cities often can’t achieve.

Not sure that that went anywhere at all. It’s something that runs circles in my head and now it’s running those circles in cyberspace as well. My kid is a city kid for right now and he’s happy to be one.

A boy who's happy to have Central Park instead of a back yard.

I had noticed that Blue wasn’t swimming as much as usual and then this past Sunday, when I went to change his tank, he had a sort of seizure, flopped all about, swam a circle, and then lay unmoving on the rocks. I watched him closely and his gills flapped slowly until he was very, very still.

So the husband and I told Brady that something very sad had happened. Blue had gotten old and he had died and he wouldn’t live with us anymore. He cried and cried, “my Blue, my Blue, I just want him back.” But he calmed down after awhile and we decided to have his funeral the next day. As I lifted Brady up to see Blue, I saw that his gills were moving again. What?!? I just told a 3-year-old that his fish had died and then he’s moving again. We maintained that Blue was dead.

The next morning, Blue was still sadly lying on the bottom of the tank, his gills and mouth moving occasionally. It was sad. I felt really bad for him. So when my mother-in-law took Brady out, I took Blue out of his tank and laid him out in the air to put him out of his misery. I went out for about 45 minutes and when I came back I put him back in the water so that Brady and I could have the funeral later.

That little sucker started moving his gills again – seriously!! I couldn’t believe it. He was the fish that would not die!! I texted my husband and we decided that Blue was getting flushed no matter what. I still feel sort of heartless about it. But we were doing the lesson on death, not the lesson on end-of-life care.  That evening, Brady and I wrapped Blue up in toilet paper, sang him Life is a Highway (Brady’s choice), and flushed him. It was actually really precious. Brady had me let him look at Blue and he told him, “we miss ya, Blue. We miss ya.” Then after the flush he said, “have fun swimming in the ocean with your mommy and daddy!” (We had told him that we were flushing him to fish heaven which was an ocean where Blue could be with his parents.)

I still feel bad about flushing him before he really went on his own. I was the girl who stopped speaking to those guys who swallowed goldfish in college and now I’ve become a fish murderer (or really, I like to think, fish euthanizer). Hopefully, I put him out of his pain and I know that Blue’s funeral was easier on Brady than his miraculous rising from the dead.

We have now welcomed Mr. Fishy to the family and we’re hoping he makes it at least a year. Otherwise, we’ll be getting an identical fish replacement to avoid additional funerals.

We miss ya, Blue. We miss ya.

Three!

Today my baby, excuse me, big boy turned 3! It’s been 3 whole years since the day he was born and he’s changed, and changed my life, more than I ever could have imagined.

In so many ways I can’t believe it’s been 3 years already. It’s been 3 years since I stopped going into the office everyday; 3 years since I could just decide, spur of the moment, to go shopping or out for happy hour; 3 years since I slept well on a regular basis.

Yet, in so many ways I can’t believe it’s  only been 3 years. It’s only been 3 years that I’ve been getting someone else up every morning (or rather, someone else has been getting me up); just 3 years since I’ve been responsible for meals, and tooth brushing, and bed times; 3 years since playdough, toy cars, and lovey hugs and kisses became part of my everyday.

And it’s still changing…always changing. Kids are a constant reminder that time is passing by, evidenced by their continually growing taller, smarter, and more independent. Thanks, Brady, for reminding me to be grateful for every moment.

The day he was born.

The day he turned one.

The day he turned two.

We started with the preschool Halloween party on Friday which was a blast. Yesterday we went to the Halloween walk in my in-laws’ neighborhood and were joined by our wonderful friends who moved out of the city last year. It was so great to see them and the kids had so much fun together. This morning our next door neighbors had a birthday party for their little boy with a Halloween theme. And, finally, we’ll be going trick-or-treating with one of Brady’s best friends in our neighborhood in a little bit.

What a jam-packed Halloween!! Tons of fun!! Hope everyone else is having a good one too.

Happy Halloween!

Plus, everyone learns differently. Some learn best from real life examples, others from reading in books, others from visuals. Brady is continually distracted when I try to go through letters with him, even if we’re playing a game. In books he is much more concerned with the story or the pictures than with the alphabet. If we’re drawing, he wants cars or people. But if Cookie Monster is asking him what letter is what on the computer, he is on it! He played the game 3 times and got most of the letters he didn’t already know. And now he can use the mouse himself. One of the games is basically to get kids to use the mouse. He did it over and over until he had perfect control and now he does what he wants (within the Sesame Street site, of course). With the games, Brady has no distractions. He concentrates on what the game guides him to, which is perfect for him.

I’m sure this is not a popular opinion. People LOVE to say that technology is evil and that it’s rotting kids’ brains. They said that when I was a kid and we had a TV with a dial that you had to actually get out of your chair to change and no computer at all. Yet, the average IQ continues to climb higher, so we’re still getting more intelligent as a people despite the addition of more and more and more electronic devices devised for our forward progress or pleasure. This is not a house where the television is on all day and we fight against Brady being on the computer or iPod too much. We spend the majority of our time doing non-electronic activities. But I really feel like cartoons and computer games have their place as well. Everything in moderation. Just as adults sometimes need to put down the Blackberry and accept that they cannot check sports scores, work emails, and gossip blogs incessantly, kids need to know that there is a time to play with the iPhone  (when out for a nice dinner with family and waiting for a table) and a time that it is not ok (when at home for a nice dinner with family).

Mouse master at work.