Poor Second Child

I am a first-born, my husband is a first-born, my first-born is (obviously) a first-born. So between the three of us we know just about nothing about being a second child.
Poor Declan gets the short end of the stick in a lot of ways. When Brady was a baby I spent pretty much all day entertaining him and working around his schedule. Declan just sort of gets squished into everybody else’s schedule. I read to Brady all the time, I practiced walking with him from the time he was 10 months old. Every nice day of Brady’s first year I took him for long walks and put him on the swings. Seriously, look at my old blog posts. Until today I had never taken Declan for a walk in Central Park.
So today, while Brady was at camp, I fixed that.

We shared a muffin on the park bench.


We swung on the swings.


And it was wonderful.

Of course Declan has lots of things that Brady didn’t. He has a mom who isn’t constantly scared she’s messing up. He has an older brother who (mostly) adores him. He has tons of other kids to play with. He has someone to go ahead of him and give him advice. So hopefully being second isn’t all bad. But I’m going to try to be more mindful of giving Declan a little more attention, and reading, and swings.


6 responses

  1. My husband and I are both second children & we vowed to do right by our second child. We started out strong – overcompensating by taking 400 pictures of him during his first week – but I see our efforts failing now! Life gets busy & we all do what we can to make it through each day. On the flip side, I think my oldest often feels overshadowed by ‘the new kid’, so I guess no matter what we do, we’ll upset one child – ahh…parenting 🙂

    • So true. When I don’t feel like I’m neglecting one, I feel like I’m neglecting the other. Do your best, do your best, do your best. My daily mantra.

  2. Don’t let the mommy guilt get the best of you, you’re doing an awesome job with him! Last night, we discussed how infrequently we read to poor Trevor, totally understand. Sweet pictures of Declan, he’s adorable and looking more and more like his big bro, I think.

  3. And don’t forget, Brady will be in school all day in Sept. and you will have lots of one-on-one time with Declan. He will tank you for not already working on children 3 and 4.

    Declan’s Grandma
    (also 2nd born followed by 3, 4, 5 and 6)

    • Oh, no worries of working on 3, let alone 4 or more!!! Where in the world would I put them?? Sorry, Mum, someone else will have to give you grandkids 3 and 4.

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