One year ago today I had a nightmare that I was in labor and had to fly to London to give birth. When I woke at 4am I discovered that the contractions from my dream were in fact real, but since I had been having contractions for the past 11 weeks I told myself to go back to sleep and I did. Throughout the day the contractions got stronger and more painful and around 4pm I noticed that that they were fairly regular so I timed them. They were 5 minutes apart. So I called my doctor, called my sister-in-law to watch Brady, and called the husband to get his ass home.
I showered quickly, grabbed my bag, and off to the hospital we went. They got me in around 8:00 and at 8:30 checked me. I was 1cm! I nearly threw up from frustration. I thought I would never make it if these were 1cm contractions. The resident went to call the OB on call and while she was gone I had a massive contraction and my water broke. The husband ran to tell her and instead of going to walk, I got to go into a room.
Fifteen minutes later, my contractions were much, much more painful. My amazing and wonderful nurse had me sit in the rocking chair because I was having back labor and it really helped. I was in so much pain that the resident came in to check me. I was 5cm, yes! So back to the rocking chair I went. About 20 minutes after that I had to push and when I say ‘had to’ I mean ‘HAD TO”.
The resident ran back in pulling on her gown and booties telling me not to push until she checked me. As she tried to check, I couldn’t help but push. Once she said I was fully dilated it was go time! About 10 minutes later, at 9:48pm,Declan was born. One of the most amazing moments of my life. I realized I had just had a baby with no medication whatsoever and felt like I had won a marathon. I had asked for an epidural in there somewhere, but Declan had other plans. They handed him to me and the husband and I just stared at him for awhile.
There was a moment the next morning, around 7am, when I sat in my hospital bed looking out at Manhattan with the sun shining and nursing my new little boy, when the world felt perfect. The joy that Declan has added to our lives is amazing. I never imagined I would enjoy him so much. He is calm and smiley. He is mischievous and sneaky. He is a terrible sleeper (most of the time). But I can’t imagine my life without him.
And with his new haircut he looks so grownup. Sometimes I miss my teeny baby, but I also love the little boy he’s becoming. I love you, Smoosh. You’re the best.