Well, not just the flu, I’m also terrified of norovirus. Actually, norovirus more so than the flu. I dream at night that my children wake with fevers or throwing up in their beds and then wake to find that everything is fine. There were five kids out in Brady’s class yesterday and I mentally tracked his contact with each of them over the past week. Brady told me that the “throw up virus” was going around the second grade and I started to feel nauseous myself.
Why am I so scared of sickness visiting my house? It’s not as if it hasn’t happened before. We’ve all been sick and we’ve all gotten through it and life went on. But each winter since Brady was born, my anxiety heightens. The winter of H1N1 was especially difficult and only the husband ended up with it. I am absolutely petrified of sickness because I am convinced that I will end up in the hospital or worse.
Now, I know that at least part of this fear is born out of my anxiety problems. I have problems with anxiety in general and it tends to center around health, so cold and flu season is my nemesis. I do worry about the kids and how it will affect them, of course. I especially worry about Declan this year because he is still under 2. But mostly, I worry that no one will take care of me. That I will make sure that the kids get fluids and that if their fevers go up or they seem dehydrated or they aren’t recovering that the doctor is called and the proper measures are taken. However, there would be no one to do the same for me. While I know in my head that the husband would look out for me, I still fear that I would fall by the wayside and be forgotten to succumb to my illness.
Now, a better question is why do I keep reading about viruses? Really, why? It is probably one of the stupider things I’ve done and yet I cannot stop myself. Last night I read an msnbc article telling me that, basically, I cannot possibly take enough measures to prevent my family from getting stomach flu. And just now, as I was eating my prepared salad, I read about how salads are the most common culprits of food-bourne norovirus. Somebody, please stop me!
So with each Facebook status and blog entry about fevers and vomiting and chills, my stress levels go up. I’m sure it’s right around the corner and that the worst fate awaits me. So I’m sticking to my relaxation techniques, trying to get enough sleep, and upping my vitamin C intake. Let’s hope we get through this flu season with no major incidents and my sanity in tact.
Do you fear the flu like I do? How do you deal?