Recently I have been blessed with some time. I have not had freelance work. While this is both good and bad, I’m trying to embrace the good and go with it. Timing is nice as we can get along without the money I make for a bit and so I’m looking at this as an opportunity.
I have been using some of this new-found free time to work on my creative writing. It’s been a long time since I concentrated at all on my fiction writing and it was difficult to get back into it. But once I established a routine and got a draft done and then edited and then sent it to some trusted people to read, I started to feel pretty darn good.
So here I am, with two pieces ready to go, the information sitting there for me to send them in, and yet I wait. I’m so afraid to put them into the hands of others, afraid for them to be judged and, most likely, be found insufficient. I fear that by actually giving my work over my bubble of writing joy will be burst and be replaced by anxiety and self-doubt, leading me to give up on writing anything for another number of years.
Submission…it is an opportunity to perhaps realize a dream of having something published, but it is also a gamble. When I work hard on a piece and send it off, I fill with hope. When I never hear back, that hope turns on me and tells me that I was stupid to hold onto it in the first place.
Ultimately, I will submit. I have people in my life supporting me on this and that is what has driven me to work. I will submit to uncertainty and I will work as I wait for the outcome on not letting it defeat me. Wish me luck.
Other writers: How do you get through the disappointment and submit again?