Off Course?

 

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Once upon a time this place was what you might call a “mommy blog,” back before they were such a big thing. In the beginning I mused on being a lonely, stay-at-home mom of a baby in the big city. It made me feel better. It made me feel connected. And it kept me connected to a big love of mine–writing.

Then things changed. My baby grew. I stopped being so lonely. I took a looong break when my second baby was born and now he’s growing himself. I fell in love with yoga and found my creative voice again. The internets blew up with “mommy blogs.” WordPress became more of a community and with that community came cliques and popularity contests. Blogs started, got big, and disappeared again and again. Everybody got on Facebook and started sharing other mommy blogs and HuffPo and Scary Mommy. Blogs even got their own Facebook pages and Twitter accounts and Instagrams and Pins. I started to feel better about being a mother and worse about being a blogger. I stopped sharing so much about being a mom on my little blog.

It occurred to me the other day that I’ve gone through a good bit of the process of potty-training Declan without ever mentioning it here. It’s odd, because I documented most of Brady’s milestones with a post. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s not new to me anymore or because I forgot that it’s still new to other people or because I feel like the world is now inundated with mommy advice via the Internet so why would anyone want mine. I began to wonder if I’d gotten off course–with my blog, with my subject matter, with my feelings–or if I’ve simply found a new road to travel.

In the six years I’ve been writing here, so many things have changed. Unfortunately, one of them is not that my blog became “big.” It’s still something that I strive for, no matter how hard I tell myself not to. I think that in some ways I have veered off my path and in some I have found new ones that I want to continue to explore. But I know that the people who have commented on my writing in real life, really did like some of that “mommy blogging” I used to do. Maybe I’ll bring it back. Maybe I’ll find other directions. For now, I just wanted to put something here. Anything.

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