Summer has begun. We had a wonderful first weekend with swimming, biking, World Cup watching, and a trip to Sixteen Handles for froyo. This year, summer isn’t just for the kids. I finished up a big freelance project last week and because of our travel schedule this summer, won’t be picking up another right away. It feels weird and sort of scary and also a bit freeing. I’m excited to have time with the kids to do whatever we want, but I’m also a little nervous about having that much time with them. It’s odd not to constantly be feeling like there’s something I should be doing.
Also, my mother-in-law will still be coming to spend time with them even though I’m not working. This gives me a strange thing that I am NOT used to having–time for myself. It also puts a bit of pressure on me. I’m always complaining that if I just had the time, I would really try to get something published. So here is that time just plunked in my lap and it’s almost overwhelming to think of how I should spend it. So far today, I’ve had coffee with a friend, gotten my nails done, and worked a bit on an essay I’ll posting here soon to participate in a weekly writing challenge that was brought to my attention by a reader.
This, of course, brings up my usual conundrum of, if I try, what if I fail? This is the one that usually stops me in my tracks, reroutes my attention elsewhere, and brings me to putting nothing on the page. When I had no work for a bit last fall, I did write and submit two pieces–both of which were rejected. But, I promised myself I wouldn’t let it shut me down and I won’t. I’ll have new things to submit this fall. New things to, most likely, have rejected. But it will be worth it. Right? At least I have the time.